


missat

by theoreticalpixy



Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Future Fic, I am a HORRIBLE PERSON, Miscarriage, asgardian headcanons of various canoncity, future au really, titles things in norse when i don't know what to do waaaat, warning: miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 07:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoreticalpixy/pseuds/theoreticalpixy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They'd known it might happen</p>
            </blockquote>





	missat

**Author's Note:**

> One last warning of: Miscarriage fic. Read at your own discretion.

There had been so much joy. Theirs was perhaps a slightly terrified excitement, but an excitement in full nonetheless. It was days of kisses on her stomach and Thor tending dutiful despite the early weeks. Too early for the child to impede her life or show any more than the gentle curve to her abdomen that grew far too slowly for both their tastes. 

She had laughed when he talked to her belly. Her fingers ran through his hair and she near glowed with the joy of it all. Thor glows too, so proud and excited for them to have a baby. He would pull her away from all other eyes so he might kiss her. He would twine their hands together at every chance he found. 

It had been wonderful.

But now it was not.

There’s no reason for it, none at all other than the fact Asgardian bodies have trouble with these things. For all their endless life, bringing a new one into their world is difficult. 

It’s mid-afternoon when she notices the bleeding. The pain is dull before it cracks sharp and Sif has to stop. She lowers herself to sit with unsteady legs. Hand goes straight to her stomach and she knows something’s wrong.

She knows this can happen. She knew the chances were high.

That doesn’t stop the flash of terror.

Frigga is with her first, called by the nearest servant and she appears with no delay. She guides Sif to the healing chambers and sits with her as Thor is called as well. Sif lays useless on a bed and they all buzz around her. No one says it, but she knows from the way they’re all acting that it is too late. 

Sif holds herself together until Thor appears. 

Her hand already can’t let go of her stomach and the look on his face is the final tipping point.

She breaks. He comes to her and when he takes her hand the first choked sound fights out of her. She can feel water rising to eyes and she knows she has no way of stopping it. Neither has words. They stare for a moment before he takes her into his arms. She curls into his chest, into his warmth, as the tears start to fall across her cheeks. They bleed into him as she buries her face against him.   
She’d barely realized just how much she had wanted this child. Their child. Sif had never been one to crave motherhood. It had taken these weeks for her to settle into the idea and embrace it the way Thor had done. She had been the one hesitant and scared of what this meant for them. What this would do to their world. 

Now she wouldn’t even have the chance to find out.

Sif can feel Thor’s own quiet tears slipping into her hair and down onto her face. It makes her cry harder. Her shoulders shake and she makes another pained noise of sorrow and rage. For all her strength, for all her achievements, this was something she never had hope of controlling. It had never been in any hands besides Fate’s. 

That knowledge does not make it any easier to stop wondering if there was something she might have done to prevent this.  
It had been seen as such good luck for them to conceive this quickly. The excited whispers had traveled immediately and they had travelled far. The prince and his new bride were expecting. There would be a new little royal baby to be fussed over. Everyone knew.

Now everyone would know their pain as well.

Sif doesn’t realize the healers have been shuffled away until another hand runs through her hair. Not Thor’s, the size is all wrong, yet it is just as soothing. She blinks, face turning away from Thor for the first time since he’d ushered her into his arms. 

Frigga. 

She doesn’t say anything but the queen presses a kiss to Sif’s forehead and then one to Thor’s. They both look up to her like lost children. 

“There will be more chances,” she whispers. The Queen’s face is more elegant in her sorrow but it is still unmistakeable. Frigga’s hands run through each of their hair again before she turns to leave them as well. Sif keeps watching until the Queen closes the door behind her so they may have privacy. 

All that is left in the chamber is their grief.

She cannot imagine more chances in this moment. Sif cannot imagine being ready to risk this loss again. She looks at Thor and his sorrow only mirrors her own. There still aren’t words. A wince and tilt of head her only question. Her face caught in pain and the noise she makes more breath than anything.

He nods. He understands anyway. 

She tries to wipe his tears away. Her own feel endless but maybe she could fix his, fix something. It’s futile. The warm drops gather and stain her hands, they slip across her skin and roll down to wrists. His smile is pained but honest, seemingly grateful for her feeble attempts. His own hands hold fast to cradle her neck and back of head. The warmth of him shields her, but it doesn’t heal anything. He watches her and when another convulsing sob takes her body he kisses her. 

She tastes their tears first. She whimpers into the kiss and his hand trembles. They near claw at each other as they pull closer and the hot taste of his mouth isn’t enough. The usual solace of his presence is shaky when they are both so pained. She can feel how he is wounded and fragile and she knows she must feel the same to him. Neither can give or take enough to make this better. All they have is each other and they both lay broken.

Their own little child. The start of a family, of a new chapter of their long lives. A tiny person made of both of them that they would never get to meet. So many hopes had been crushed in an instant.

Sif doesn’t remember lying back down. She doesn’t know how they intertwined their limbs or when their hands covered each other over her stomach. Sif only knows that when her mind pieces enough together to become aware again that her breathing is the slightest shade more even. That she feels warm and loved even as the pain burns in her heart. Somewhere along the line her tears seem to have stopped falling - or maybe they only dried out. Thor’s seem to have stopped as well. 

He had been so happy. She had never felt more loved. Now he laid beside her like man defeated and she felt a hollowness that she suspected would not be leaving her anytime soon. 

She holds him. It’s all she can do. She holds him, hoping it might help at least one of them.


End file.
